06. turN l00Se leS swaNz

      Lesbians in general piss me off. Actually fags in general piss me off. We walk around trying to claim special freedoms in society. Telling everyone were normal. Problem is we really don't like...no we fucking hate being called normal coz that means we're trying to be straight. Now i hate queers who look and act mainstream to fit in. They are losers.

      Now my point of view will be heavily criticized by most of you. I'm a bloody dyke, being called a lesbian is just an insult invented by straight wives and macho men. My best friend is a horny perverted fag who will never conform. He'll probably die under the hands of some homophobic neighbour. Guess what, he'd rather be fucking hit over the head with a bat by a straight guy, then insulted by some queen who wants mainstream rights.

      Listen, i'm not against this freedom shit. I'd love for society to accept my fucking cunt. But queers should take a peak at everyone else who tried to go free. Blacks are still inferior to whites, and womyn are only slack cunts in the eyes of men.

      The worst fucking thing is that queers can't even unite. Like Andi's said to me, hundreds of times, in that bloody preacher voice of his. "Brothers and sisters, unite, to free ourselves from this petty bickering." No one is going to listen to people like me and Andi. We don't fit into the queer mainstream. And guess what, if you're not a queen or clone or feminist, then you ain't really homosexual, you just like sleeping with those of your sex. What the fuck?!?!?!!?

      I was at the H.L.I. convention, with a group of protestors, and this femi-nazi cunt called me a Nazi. Oh yeah right. Damn bitch. I had to smash her face into the pavement. Fucking cunt. Listen, just coz i'm a dyke doesn't mean i'm a feminist. I'm just pro-dyke.

      One more thing on fags. They got some nerve looking at me the way they do. If it wasn't coz they were effeminate i'd hit them. But you know it ain't right to hit womyn. Ouch, now that was a homophobic statement. I DON'T HATE QUEER MEN, i'm just annoyed by them. I'm here, i'm queer and i'm proud. So fuck off.

07. P-H-L-E-B-O-T-O-M-I-Z-E-D,
& o'Ther BIG werdz

      The nineties are a time of big words and big ideas. People can't get it in their puny heads that life can be really easy if they let it. My life is easy. I work 48 hours a week at my job, 14 hours a week with my band, we play live once a week and that takes up another 5 hours, spend another 21 hours a week at my second job, 20 hours a week going out and having some serious fun, another 8 hours a week masturbating, 2-7 hours having sex, and i'm left with...let me see...about 45 hours a sleep per week, if I can sleep.

      This is the easy life. I make just enough money in my first job, to pay for rent, electricity, phone bills. And the other job pays for luxuries like food and water. I think this is decent. Please take note, yes, i do spend a little more then an hour each night masturbating. I like getting at least an orgasm, the only real pleasure in my life. And i'm little interested about quickies in the bathroom.

      P-h-l-e-b-o-t-o-m-i-z-e-d, means blood letting.

      The nineties are full of blood drinkers, and i'm not talking about vampires, coz they're cool. I'm talking about the urchin and carrion that crawl throughout the streets. The PIGS. I've already talked about them and you're going to hear a lot more.

      Pigs are the enemy of our children. We used to worry about Satan, but Satan never shot anyone. My biggest problem lies in the fact that they have guns. I wouldn't hate them so much if i didn't think they'd shoot me if i tried to run away. I am always unarmed. I've never carried a fucking knife in my life, and a gun is for cowards, like the military. I believe that all combat should be done at melee range. People should have the ability to bury their fists in the other guys face, or else it's unfair. A knife is cool sometimes, but a gun is always a coward's weapon. In the nineties my planet is covered with maggot assed cowards. Too bad, coz i kind of liked it in the eighties.

      Note that everything isn't shit. I like the AIDS virus and the US domination of the planet. I like the cheesy condoms, and the funky gloves. I love the network sitcoms, and the laugh tracks. I love the Saturday morning news and the Weather Channel. I love the smell of an anorexic pussy and the breath of a bulimic. I love...myself.

08. release me. WAS I ever REALly frEE, O.R.W.A.S. T.H.A.T. just 1 gib gnikcuf LIE

      Welcome to Montreal. Heart of Quebec. The most mentally unstable place in the world. When you look at people who are asking for freedom, you generally find some serious violence, but in Quebec, we seem to enjoy a certain calm. I've only been here for 5 short months, but i've been already told 12 times to go back home. Isn't that a nice greeting? Each time i was in reach i beat the fuckers head in.

      In the States, we're all huge fanatical Nationalist. Anyone who tries to insult us gets their ass kicked. Not that Canadians are any better, i hear that this big uproar of "Canadianism" only started recently. Only a few short decades.

      Listen politics is something that i really hate, but since i'm going to become one of you, i'll have to get some things straight. I am not a bloody American. I am not a fucking Jew. I am not a Hézuss sucking Krystian. I am not a bleeding heart Canadian or a damned Québécois. I am... i am... nothing. Bloody fucking nothing. Now that we got this out of the way i can go back to what i started.

09. Salad Dressing

      "Hey Joey, how ya doing? Don't give me that cock shit. Listen gyrlz don't want cocks, they want to go down on one of these. When will you learn, that to please a gyrl, ya'v got to get your face wet. Don't give me that. You're an idiot. Listen you want to get another gyrl, huh? So pull down your pants so i can see what you've got to offer. You heard me bitch, pull down that skirt, and let me see your boys. If you don't, i will................. Finally. My you're getting a stiffy. Isn't that cute? So that's how it works. You've got the ugliest cock i've ever seen. Don't you even wash? Did i tell you to put your pants back up?"

      Why are you guys so proud of your cocks? I don't get it, you give it names. You talk to it. You treat better than your lover. And it's so ugly. My pussy (cunt, vagina or whatever you want to call it) is beautiful. The aroma is sweet, men smell like dead creatures. The taste is delicious, male cum is acceptable, i've had some before, too bad it cums from that.

      It's harder to damage a cunt. If i have sex with Syl or someone else, unless she's really not careful, or expressly aimed for hurting me, she can't really hurt me (i don't know about the rest of you nymphos, but mines like a tank). Now when Andrew & Kevin go at it, if Andrew falls over, Kevin's cock is going to snap like a twig. Oww!

      I don't understand how any one womyn can let a man fuck her cunt with that thing. I don't even use dildos', but Syl likes the strap on. I mean in the ass it's normal, i've been fucked there often, even once by Trevor when we were young.

      Let's talk about cum. That white icky gooey stuff, which oozes from a penis. It's like salad dressing, it's good before the meal, but not after.

      Sam's got a cock, and he wants to lose it. Talk about a man with some sense. Now if the world was full of Sam's i could have more fun.

10. the PRInciPLE of eVIL madE FLesh

      Guess what? Come on guess... I'm watching scrambled porn on the tube. Man it's sick. There are these ugly fat breasted chicks sucking this clone chick. And they're moaning and screaming like the world's going to end tomorrow. And there's this horny male clone, stroking his enlarged cock, like his size would make any difference to these gyrlz. It makes me want to puke. Funny thing, they don't show the cum spurting out. I like to watch that stuff. It's so gross!

      Come on, like real gyrlz do this much fucking in two nights. Listen orgies exist, i've been in a couple. But the most i've seen a straight gyrl cum, was three times, and that was only once. Most gyrlz, i know, who are 'multi-orgasmic', usually only cum twice. And guys, you should know how spent you are after 1 orgasm. And yes, i'm 'multi-orgasmic', but i usually settle with one big one, than a whole bunch of little ones.

      These cunts on tv are making me sick. These 'lesbians' are so fake. "Amanda, would you wash my back? Tee...hee...hee..." AArrgghhh! If i hear another of these whinny cunts moan and scream like they're trying to pass a horse through their vagina, i'm going to throw the fucking tv out the bloody window. It's too bad, coz i'd really like to see some cunt.

      Now, Sam's asking me if these things are real...And to tell the truth i don't really know. I mean it's scrambled, but these look plastic. Andi's friend, DJ Pfyst-Pfukk, said that he was sure he saw a plastic one. How pervert, i guess breeders rather stick their cock in something fake, then something that looks so...so...so...blahhhh! Excuse me, i had to hurl. Something so fucking ugly, that i wouldn't even stick my own shit inside.

      Talking about shit, how come these gyrlz never go anal. Gosh willikers, don't they know that anal is in, pussies are out. Come on, aren't these the gay nineties. "Amanda, stick your fingers in my ass...uhhhhh...that feels so goooood...aaaaaa ohhhhhh uhhhhhhh, fuck me...fuck me (in that pitiful straight chick whore voice)...fuck me...ohhhh yeahh (i can see guys jacking off) ohhh Amanda...ohhh yeah..." BARFING SOUNDS CAN NOW BE HEARD IN THE DISTANCE!!!!!!!! Sorry about that, Sam just put the volume up. Wait i've got to clean my mouth. Much better. Please! Don't give me this shit. Syl and me, we enjoy great anal. Nuff said. Though i'd love to see it on tv, coz tv is THE REAL WORLD.

11. A TALL TAIL aboot the...truth?

"We fuck to be, we be to grow, we grow to walk, we walk to kill, we kill to eat, we eat to breathe, we breathe to live, we live to die, we die to fuck..."
Vogh Khrghmn (1993)

      This guy wasn't very far off from the truth, but his poem's a little downing. Guess he's lying in a ditch somewhere like all poets.

      Whatever, let's talk about the truth. It's a lie.

      No wait, i'm 'true'. There's a difference between the truth and reality. Lots of things are true, but there aren't many things that are real. Love can be true, but it isn't real. Why? God, you ask me such hard questions, i don't fucking know, it just isn't. Now shut up turd, so i can finish this damn thing. Fucking is real, but is rarely true. You're real, but aren't fucking true. And i'm...

      See this is the way i see things, Syl may be a junky stoner, but she's true. She sees more truth than i'm willing to accept, but she doesn't admit to what she sees as being true. Now the truth is defined simply in what can be believed, so if i tell you a lie, and you believe it, then i'm telling you the truth. So don't accuse me of lying. Reality works in the same way. One can sense reality, and reality is usually something you see. That's why God isn't real, coz no one sees him. It doesn't mean he's a lie, unless you don't believe. If i show you a zirconium crystal and you take it for a diamond, than it's a real diamond. But if i give you air, and tell you it's a diamond, you'd think i'm loco, coz you can't see it. Simple.

      I like Kryst, coz he's kind of fun. Listen, who'd hate a guy who committed suicide, coz he wanted to save his people. A true individual. I don't believe he existed, but i believe the story is true. But listen there are exceptions to what i just fuckin' said. It wasn't a rule, just a bloody idea. When you smoke the amount of ganja i have (in the dozens of kilos), you think a lot. Yeah, some dorks get used to the shit, but they're fucking assholes. No insults to you, if you are. Listen anyone who smokes pot for any other reason than to get stoned and go philosophying is an eediot. Nuff said fucker. If i ever smoke shit like a fag, i hope someone shoots me. (Note for you touchy pinks out there, a fag a cigarette...)

      Let's see what else do i have to say. I like aliens. Andi says his friend, DJ Pfyst-Pfukk's an alien. And i fucking believe him. In today's society, if you ain't mainstream, you're either really smart, queerly loco or a damn 'illegal' alien. Rumour has it that all pfags are aliens. But i'm not. Heh heh heh.

      We won't spend much time on that, i won't talk about ghosts, coz they bother me, and i don't want to curse myself. Yes, i believe in curses, so you fucked up nice witches out there, please don't get any ideas. Actually, i fucked a witch once, she didn't practice magic, but did speak in 'tongues'. Listen if any of you don't catch the double meanings that i use stop reading now, coz i really don't want you to hurt your brain. There's are a lot of stupid people out there, and i can't stand to think that it may be you. Oh yeah, don't throw this away, recycle it...